March 9, 2012
I've learned that if you have long hair you should never blow gum bubbles while leaning out of a moving car's window!
March 10, 2012
If you are being chased by a bear. . . don't panic you only have to run faster then your friend.
March 11, 2012
When you grow old, you will not remember the words of your enemies but the silence of your friends
March 12, 2012
When life gives you lemons, sell them for profit!
March 13, 2012
you laugh, I laugh
you cry, I cry
you hurt, I hurt
you jump off a bridge i gonna miss your emails!
you cry, I cry
you hurt, I hurt
you jump off a bridge i gonna miss your emails!
March 14 2012
Guess what everyone!? today is national pi day, 3.14
March 15, 2012
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.!
March 16, 2012
In the end it doesn't matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.
March 17, 2012
Friends are like green potatoes, if you eat them they will die!
March 18, 2012
I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road in peace
March 19, 2012
I'm not as random as you think, I salad
March 20, 2012
I used to always look beyond myself to see what the world could give me. I never thought to look at what I had inside myself!
March 21, 2012
There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people.
March 22, 2012
Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they go away!
March 23, 2012
For all you hunger games lovers:
THE PEETA SONG
when I walk out of the shop, who do I see?
Katniss Everdeen is staring at me!
I got a loaf in my hand and I ain't afraid to throw it, throw it, throw it
I'm Peeta and I know it! (to the tune of Sexy & I know it)
THE PEETA SONG
when I walk out of the shop, who do I see?
Katniss Everdeen is staring at me!
I got a loaf in my hand and I ain't afraid to throw it, throw it, throw it
I'm Peeta and I know it! (to the tune of Sexy & I know it)
March 24, 2012
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.!
March 25, 2012
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
March 26, 2012
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
March 27, 2012
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
March 28, 2012
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
March 29, 2012
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
March 30, 2012
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
March 31, 2012
Life isn't waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning to dance in the rain.
April 1, 2012
Enjoy life while you can - you'll be dead for much longer anyway.
April 2, 2012
There's something on your neck! It's wrinkly and hairy and ugly an- oh sorry its just your head.
April 3, 2012
Sometimes I try to act normal. But that gets boring so I go back to being me.
April 4, 2012
I know that you think you know what I just said but I don't think you really realize what I actually just said.
April 5, 2012
April 6, 2012
April 7, 2012
April 8, 2012
Trying is the first step to failure: so just don't try!
April 9, 2012
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
April 10, 2012
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
April 11, 2012
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
April 12, 2012
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
April 13, 2012
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
April 14, 2012
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants